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Make your Marriage last - 5 Tips to Start on the Right foot

 

As we all know, there is plenty of planning that goes into arranging a wedding, and there is usually even more stress involved than there is planning! The quantity of tasks that have to be completed before the big day ranging from choosing the colour of the serviettes to appeasing the mother-in-law; can overwhelm the soon-to-be couple. In the midst of being overwhelmed, there is obviously little time for the couple to sit down and discuss how they plan to make their marriage a success.

Divorce rates are rising internationally as families struggle to balance the pressures of the working world with the pressures of family life. Proximity to and support from the extended family is less common these days, and as such it is more important than ever for couples to have a clear vision of the challenges that will face them before they say their vows. Honestly speaking to your partner about your relationship, present and future, should be approached with a positive attitude. See it as an opportunity to get to know your soon-to-be husband or wife as well as you possibly can. The article below has some questions that you should ask yourself before the first day of the rest of your lives together in order to ensure your marriage a joyous one. 

For more wedding ideas, visit our sister sites, www.matrimony.co.za and www.theperfectwedding.co.za   

 


5 Things You Can Do To Have A Successful And Lasting Marriage
By: Adamo T. H.


How much do you value your marriage? What can you do to ensure that your marriage doesn’t end up in the dustbin of divorce? The incidence of divorce and sour relationships could be minimized in our societies today if certain things are taking into consideration. It amazes me to see or read about it in the newspapers how once a bubbling, love-infected marriage suddenly collapsed and the only option the couples are considering is divorce.

Sadly the estranged couple hardly considers the fate of their children who usually bear the brunt of the collapsed marriage. It is such an ugly situation that any person in his or her right senses would do everything to prevent.
Marriage like any other human relationship thrives on mutual understanding, effective communication, spending quality time together as well as remaining attractive to your spouse.


How Much Do You Know About Your Spouse?
It is a suicide mission to go into marriage with somebody you hardly known. How much do you know of him? Who does he hang out with? What about his background and track records? What about his characters and attitudes? The list is endless.


It is a pity that many people these days never bothered to find out, at least, a little bit of useful information about the other person in their relationship. The truth about the other person usually stark us in face after the knot has been tied, no wonder there is so much incidence of broken relationships and cases of divorce in our society today.


It is possible that you might not be able to come up with any useful information before you go into such relationship, however, you would help yourself to use the first few weeks into the relationship to gather some intelligent report about him that would guide you as to whether you should continue with the relationship or not. There would be little or no hurt if you should decide to call it quit at the early stage based on your findings.

Broken relationship is always better than broken marriage.

Accept The Reality of Marriage, Let Go Of The Fantasy!
Don’t allow whatever you read in romance books and magazines blindfold you to the reality of marital life. They are not the same. Wake Up!

If you crave for a successful marriage then you must face the reality of the fact that people change constantly, even you. A man or woman might behave in a certain way at the early stages of the relationship especially during courtship and would suddenly become a different person once the marriage ceremony has been concluded. You should always have it at the back of your mind that circumstances and situations change; so also are people.

Unless you prepare yourself for such change or reality you might be devastated when it occurs. Who says your spouse cannot betray you? Have you been blinded by love to that extent that you cannot see the likelihood of it occurring?

It doesn’t matter how long you have been together, the truth of the matter is that it happens to people every day and you are not different from them. The earlier you realize this fact the better as it will protect you to a certain extent if eventually your spouse begins to behave strangely. The hurt will be minimal and you won’t have to commit murder or suicide.

You Must Express Your Feelings To Your Spouse, No Matter What!
When your spouse does some things you don’t like or approve of, do you voice out or do you keep mute and nurse your pains silently? How do you communicate your opinions to him? When taking up contentious issues, how do you express your grievances? Do you cry blue murder or do you approach the matter with calm and patience? How do you express your desires? Do you use body language or verbal?

Your response to all these questions will determine the survival or otherwise of your marriage. Often times, what make relationship or marriage break up is as a result of poor or lack of communication between married people. Some people find it difficult to relate with their spouses. You should endeavor to communicate your feelings and needs, be it emotional, physical or spiritual, to your spouse?

As a married woman, who says you can’t initiate the move for sex? You might not necessarily be verbal, but you can still express your need/desire for it through your dressing, perfume, looks and the way you comport yourself in the presence of your man. Remember men are moved by sight, sound and smell.

Men! You must be a good listener. Women by nature really want to pour out their minds at the end of each day. A woman wants to tell her husband everything that happens that day from A to Z and God helps him if he doesn’t listen even if he has to pretend that he does, he must. An average woman believes that her husband would only listen to her if he still cares and loves her.

Often time, a man too wants to return home and share his challenges and problems at work that day with his wife.

Thus her listening and soothing response would go a long way to strength and motivate him to overcome any challenges he might be facing. Have you ever seen a man in tears? He definitely needs the attention of his wife at such critical time and she might only communicate her sympathy, love and support by mere touching and whatever you can imagine! Make the fun out of your marriage by sharing and communicating effectively.

Woman, You Must Brand And Rebrand Yourself!
It is amazing seeing a once dashing and very attractive woman turned to a drab and very nauseating soon after

marriage, probably after the first child. I have seen many young married women like that. They no longer take care of their hair, look, body and general appearance.

They believe because they have secured the marriage certificate and got the man hooked, it doesn’t matter anymore how they look or appear in public. After all, nobody would be interested in them again. What such women fail to understand is that their first admirer is their husband and they must do everything to constantly secure his attention if they don’t want to lose him to another woman outside.


If you really want to your marriage to last and ensure that your husband doesn’t look elsewhere, except in such cases where a man is so randy that no matter how attractive the wife is or no matter what she does he would still not be satisfied, you should always take care of your physical appearance.

Don’t give up on what you have been doing that got him attracted to you in the first place and you should be in tune with time and changes in fashion and style. He is your husband and that means there is no limit to the extent in which you can go to seduce him. Give him a reason to always desire you and you will succeed in keep other women out of his life! Give him fatal attraction, and he would hardly leave you.

Create Time To Be Together
Recently, I was listening to a phone-in program on the radio when a married man called to complain bitterly that his wife abandoned him for the kids! Many a time some women create cracks in their own marriages when they divert all attentions away from their husbands to the children. What they don’t know is that men are terribly jealous no matter who is involved and before you know it they would start dating other women outside.


Similarly, some men unknowingly issued tickets of infidelity to their wives when all they are after is work! work!! and work!!! They don’t come home on time and when they do they bring work home from office. They travel endlessly to the extent that the poor woman becomes tired of loneliness and seeks companion outside her matrimonial home. And before the workaholic husband could realize what is happening the damage is already done. The wife has filed for divorce.

The best thing is to get adequate time for every member of your family, let the family spend more time together and you should sometimes take a retreat that involves you and your spouse without any other member of the family interfering, not even the children! Relive the sweet memories of the pre-marital time you had together. What about another honeymoon? Who says it can only be once?

The steps enumerated above are just some of those little things you can do to save your marriage from collapse, of course there are more things that you can do, but what I have stated here should be enough to keep you going, explore you marriage and you will discover your own peculiar way of having lasting marriage, no two marriages are the same.

By: Adamo T. H.

Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com


There are other more steps you can take to save your marriage or that would ensure you have a lasting marriage.

Knowing and following these secrets of successful marriage would put your marriage among the very few that scale through divorce and you will enjoy your marriage rather than endure. You can discover the journey to a blissful relationship by visiting this link: tinyurl.com/cst9hd


Date Posted: 2009-03-17
Posted By: THE PERFECT WEDDING
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