Strive for Excellence, not Perfection
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The amount of things demanded of the working man and especially the working woman in today's society are spinning out of control. The quest to live a contemporary corporate life; combined with a family life that was more realistic in the early 1900's; can drive a person to drink, and it often does that and worse. Added to the pressure of family and work life is the self-imposed pressure of striving for perfection, which is of course unattainable. Strive for excellence in your field and your family, but understand that it involves making mistakes, and that mistakes are what you make of them. Renita Kalhorn explains why 'perfection is overrated'...
If you are looking for a corporate/personal image consultant with over 20 years of experience in the field, go to www.janeshonfeld.co.za
Perfection Is Overrated
By: Renita Kalhorn
The great cellist Pablo Casals was once asked by the sound engineer during a recording session to redo a section where the intonation had been a little off. Indignant, Casals replied: "But that's the way I played it!"
As someone who hears the constant voice of self-criticism, I was struck with admiration for Casal's integrity. How many of us have such loyalty to "imperfect" reality that we would refuse the opportunity for a do-over? Most of us are much more focused on achieving perfection -- a life free from flaws and mistakes.
A Questionable Quest
Performing artists and athletes spend hours practicing their craft or sport, striving to ensure a "perfect" performance. In the workplace, we're intent on presenting an unimpeachable front to colleagues and superiors, and legions of brides spend outrageous sums to create the ideal wedding day.
But what is perfection exactly -- and how do we know when we've achieved it? Is it possible that the eternal pursuit of perfection could actually spell eternal dissatisfaction? What can't we simply have Casal's attitude of appreciation for "the way we played it"?
Perhaps you've been to a dance performance where one of the dancers had faultless technique and yet it was the one with less orthodox form whose uninhibited energy and passion captured your attention. Even in fashion magazines where airbrushed perfection reigns, some of the most successful models have been the ones with prominent "flaws" -- Cindy Crawford's mole, Lauren Hutton's gap-toothed smile. Makes you wonder whether absolute perfection isn't actually a little boring.
A Moving Target
Of course, this isn't to say that we shouldn't seek to improve and achieve our best. But in this age of computer and surgical wizardry, the standards of perfection are constantly changing, heightening our fear of making mistakes or appearing less than perfect.
When you find yourself more focused on hiding your blemishes than enjoying your life, you might keep these points in mind:
- KEEP IT REAL. For many of us, perfection equates with receiving approval and being liked (or at least not annoying anyone): "If I'm perfect, everyone will love me." But while people may be fascinated by the promise of perfection, they won't necessarily be comfortable in its proximity. As humans, we stumble and fall, blurt out inappropriate comments. It's what makes us authentic and not automatons. And when we see that others -- even the kickboxing instructor at your gym with the "perfect" body -- do the same, we feel a greater connection with them than we would if they never screwed up.
- APPRECIATE YOUR MISTAKES. Traveling the path toward perceived perfection means experiencing glaring imperfection. But paradoxically, it is our fear of appearing foolish that impedes us. Why not emulate young children, who learn without inhibition or self-doubt because they're more caught up in the joy of self-expression and learning new skills than they are in the fear of making a mistake. After all, mistakes serve to help us appreciate expert execution all the more.
- IS IT PERFECT YET? Regardless of how far we've come, we maintain our insistence that, "No, if only it were like this, then it would be perfect." Where did we get our notions of perfection anyway ' is it possible that we've been conditioned by society and media into a false belief that there is universal agreement when, in fact, there's no definitive consensus on what that is? Is the "perfect" dinner party the one with the exquisite flower arrangements, carefully matched settings and elaborate desserts, or the one with nonstop laughter?
So when you're beating yourself up because things are not going the way you think they should, who's to say you can't pronounce things perfect just as they are ' no matter how frustrating, embarrassing or out of tune -- because "that's the way you played it"?
Renita T. Kalhorn is a Juilliard-trained pianist with a top-tier MBA and a first-degree martial arts black belt. Leveraging the power of "flow," she coaches entrepreneurs and corporate professionals to achieve extreme focus and reach the top of their game at work. Claim your complimentary copy of "Find Your Flow! 21 Simple Strategies to Banish Tedium, Reduce Stress and Inspire Action" at http://www.intheflowcoaching.com
So while you're on the admirable quest to make yourself the best person that you can be, remember to laugh at yourself every once in a while. Also keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes, but mistakes are only failures if you don't pick yourself up from them. Mistakes tend to teach us more than success does, so take chances make mistakes, grow and learn.
Date Posted: 2009-03-24
Posted By: JANE SHONFELD
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